It is strange how people who share the same blood can slowly become strangers. Sometimes it happens because of distance. Sometimes life simply gets busy. People move to different cities or countries, start their own families, build careers, and become caught up in their own problems. Years can pass without anyone realizing just how much has changed.
Then one day, you meet a relative you have not seen for many years, and you realize you barely know each other anymore.
You may remember them as the child, teenager, or young person you once knew, but they have grown into someone with different experiences, beliefs, habits, and priorities. They may have changed in ways you never witnessed. You may also have changed. When there is no communication for a long time, people naturally fill in the gaps with their own assumptions.
That is where prejudice can begin, even within a family.
When we do not know someone anymore, it becomes easy to make judgments about them based on what we hear from other people, what we remember from the past, or what we assume from a distance. We may think someone is cold because they rarely visit, without knowing they are struggling with something. We may think a relative does not care because they do not call, while they may simply be overwhelmed with their own life. We can create an entire story about someone without ever asking them what is really going on.
This is one reason I think social media can actually be a good thing when it is used in a healthy way.
Social media is often criticized, and there are many reasons for that. But for families who live far apart, it can be a simple way to remain connected. You do not have to have a long conversation every day. Sometimes seeing a photo or a short update is enough to remind you that your family member is still there, living their life, growing, changing, and experiencing things you might otherwise know nothing about.
You might see that your cousin has started a new job. You might see that an aunt is enjoying a trip. You might notice that a nephew has graduated or that a relative is celebrating a birthday. These little updates may seem insignificant, but they help us remain familiar with one another.
Familiarity matters.
When you regularly see small pieces of someone’s life, they do not feel quite so distant. You may not be close enough to know everything about them, but at least you have some idea of what is happening in their world. You are less likely to create assumptions about someone when you are still seeing them as a real person rather than simply a name in the family.
And sometimes, social media makes it easier to reach out.
You can send a simple message saying, “How are you?” You can check on someone when you notice they have been quiet. You can congratulate them on something good that happened. You can wish them a happy birthday. You can send a funny photo, share a memory, or simply say that you were thinking about them.
It does not have to be a deep conversation. Sometimes a small message is enough to keep a relationship from completely disappearing.
I think this is especially important in families where people live in different countries. Distance can make relationships difficult, but technology has made that distance much smaller. We can call someone from the other side of the world almost instantly. We can see their face, hear their voice, and know that they are okay.
Of course, social media cannot replace spending time together in person. A message cannot replace sitting around a table, sharing a meal, laughing together, or being there during an important moment. But it can help maintain the connection until those moments are possible.
Family relationships also need effort. We sometimes expect family bonds to remain strong simply because we are related, but being family does not automatically mean we will remain close. Relationships still need attention. They need curiosity, kindness, patience, and communication.
We should also give each other room to change.
A person you knew ten years ago may not be the same person today. Neither are you. Instead of holding people permanently to an old version of themselves, perhaps we should make an effort to know who they have become. Ask questions. Listen. Be interested. Let go of some old assumptions.
There may be relatives we once felt close to who now seem very different from us. There may even be family members we do not completely understand. But before deciding who they are, it is worth talking to them.
Sometimes the person we have judged from a distance is very different when we finally hear their side of the story.
Life is already short, and families can drift apart faster than we realize. Years can disappear between one conversation and the next. Then, when we finally reconnect, we may wonder why we waited so long.
So I think there is nothing wrong with sending that simple message.
“How are you?”
“How have you been?”
“Happy birthday.”
“I saw this and thought of you.”
These little words can keep a door open.
We do not have to be constantly involved in every family member’s life. We do not have to agree on everything or become extremely close to everyone. But knowing enough about each other’s lives can help prevent unnecessary misunderstandings, assumptions, and prejudice.
Sometimes staying connected is not about having long conversations. It is simply about reminding someone that they are not forgotten.
And perhaps that is one of the best things technology can give us. Not a replacement for family, but a small bridge between people who might otherwise slowly become strangers.
