Dear Readers,
Thank you for visiting my blog once again. It has been quite some time since I last wrote here, and the silence was not intentional. Life has a way of pulling us in directions we do not expect, and sometimes writing has to wait. My pause began with the loss of my father. His passing was sudden, and I had to take emergency leave from work to fly to the Philippines. Those days were heavy with mourning, filled with family gatherings, prayers, and the quiet moments of grief that come when you realize someone you love is truly gone. Attending his burial was painful, yet it was also a time to be close to my family, to share memories, and to honor him together.
When I returned home, life did not slow down. I had left my daughter for ten days, and that absence weighed on me. She is still very young, not yet ready for long travels, and those days apart were difficult for both of us. In December 2024, we had tried bringing her to the Philippines, but it turned out to be a mistake. The weather was harsh for her, and the food and drinks did not suit her body. She was sick almost the entire time, and what was meant to be a family trip became a struggle. I carried the worry of her health while trying to manage everything else, and it left me drained. So when I had to leave her again for my father’s burial, I knew it would be another hard stretch. Ten days felt long, and though she was safe, the separation was heavy on my heart.
Coming back, I found myself needing something to balance the sadness and the busyness of daily life. That is when chess returned to me. I had played chess in high school, even competing in CVRAA tournaments, but once college began, my focus shifted to studies. Later, work took over, and chess faded into the background. During my father’s wake, however, my sister’s chess club team members came to pay their respects. They played games during the long hours, and watching them stirred something in me. The familiar rhythm of the board, the quiet intensity of each move, reminded me of the joy I once felt. It was like meeting an old friend again.
Soon after, I started playing chess online. At first, it was just a way to pass time when my daughter was asleep, but it quickly became more than that. I found myself hooked, joining tournaments, and enjoying the challenge of playing against people from different countries. Each game brought a new experience. Sometimes I won, and the victory felt sweet. Other times I lost, but even in defeat there was something valuable. Losing taught me lessons, showed me strategies I had overlooked, and reminded me that growth often comes through mistakes. That is the beauty of chess—it is never just about winning, but about learning, adapting, and thinking ahead.
Playing with people from different nationalities added another layer of excitement. It felt like traveling without leaving home, connecting with minds across the world through a shared love of the game. The board became a meeting place where language and distance did not matter. Every opponent had their own style, their own approach, and facing them was both challenging and inspiring. It reminded me that even in small hobbies, there is a way to connect with the wider world.
Chess also gave me a sense of balance. After the emotional weight of losing my father and the stress of working full time, then caring for my daughter and doing household chores, I needed something that was mine, something that brought joy without demanding too much. Chess filled that space. It was familiar yet fresh, competitive yet calming. It gave me moments of focus, where the only thing that mattered was the next move. In those moments, grief softened, and the noise of daily responsibilities quieted.
Writing, on the other hand, has always been another outlet for me. Yet after everything that happened, I found it hard to return to the page. Words felt distant, and I did not want to force them. I believe writing should come naturally, from a place of honesty, and for a while I simply did not have the energy. Now, as I share this, I feel that spark returning. I may not write as often as before, but I know I will come back when I have topics worth sharing. Writing is not about filling space—it is about telling stories that matter, even if they are simple, even if they are just about everyday life.
This year has been full of challenges, but also reminders of resilience. Losing my father was a deep sorrow, yet it brought me closer to family. Caring for my daughter through sickness taught me patience and strength. Rediscovering chess reminded me that joy can be found in old passions. And now, slowly, I am finding my way back to writing.
As the holidays approach, I want to extend my warm wishes to all of you. Merry Christmas and a happy new year. May your days be filled with peace, love, and moments that remind you of what truly matters. Thank you for reading, for being here, and for sharing this journey with me.
Always,
Little Belle’s Mama
