Little Belle's Mama

In many parts of the world, people share a story about crabs in a bucket. If you put a single crab in a bucket, it can probably climb out. But if you put several crabs together, none of them escape. As soon as one tries to climb out, the others pull it back down. No crab makes it out, not because of the bucket, but because of the others inside.

This idea of pulling others down instead of helping them rise is known as crab mentality. It’s not just a story about crabs; it’s a reflection of a mindset that exists in real life, in schools, workplaces, families, and even among friends. It shows up when people can’t stand to see others succeed and would rather hold them back than let them grow.

Crab mentality often comes from a place of insecurity. When someone feels small or unsure of their own path, it can be painful to watch someone else move ahead. It’s easier to question that person’s worth or to criticize their efforts than to look inward and work on one’s own journey. Instead of seeing someone’s progress as a source of inspiration, people with this mindset see it as a threat.

What makes crab mentality hard to spot is that it doesn’t always show up as obvious sabotage. It can come in the form of discouragement, subtle jabs, or passive remarks like “Don’t aim too high,” or “People like us don’t get that far.” These comments may seem harmless, but they plant seeds of doubt. Over time, they can stop someone from reaching their full potential, just because they started believing they shouldn’t.

This mindset isn’t limited to individuals. It can exist within communities or even cultures. When people feel trapped by systems that have limited their progress, they can start to believe that no one should rise above those limits. It becomes easier to accept the status quo than to push for change. In such spaces, celebrating someone’s success may feel like betrayal, as if progress for one means rejection of the group.

But success isn’t a pie with only so many slices. Just because someone else is doing well doesn’t mean there’s less left for others. The truth is, when someone breaks through barriers, they often create space for others to follow. We all benefit when people around us grow. They show what’s possible, challenge old ideas, and open new paths.

One of the hardest parts of crab mentality is how it shows up among people closest to us. Friends who don’t cheer for you, coworkers who downplay your achievements, or family members who suggest you’re reaching too far. It hurts more when it comes from those we care about, because we expect support, not resistance. And sometimes, it’s not easy to tell whether their words come from concern or quiet jealousy.

If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of crab mentality, you know how frustrating it can be. You try to celebrate a win or chase a dream, and instead of encouragement, you get silence, sarcasm, or cold advice. It makes you question yourself. You start wondering if you should stay where it’s safe, where people won’t whisper, where your choices won’t make anyone uncomfortable.

But shrinking yourself to fit someone else’s comfort zone never leads to growth. Your path is yours to walk. And while it’s natural to want approval, it shouldn’t come at the cost of your own progress. The more you grow, the more you’ll find people who understand your vision. They may not be from your old circles. They may be people you meet along the way, drawn by your commitment and your courage to rise.

Overcoming crab mentality isn’t about confronting every person who doubts you. It’s about recognizing the mindset for what it is and choosing not to let it shape your decisions. It’s about noticing when you start to pull yourself back because of what others might say or think. It’s about standing firm in your goals, even when the voices around you try to pull you down to their level.

That said, it’s just as important to check ourselves. It’s easy to talk about how others bring us down, but have we ever done the same? Have we ever felt a twinge of envy when someone close to us achieved something big? Have we ever brushed off their success or made it about luck instead of their hard work? These feelings are human, but they become harmful when we act on them.

To break free from this mindset, we need to support each other’s growth as much as we support our own. Celebrate your friends’ wins, even if you’re still waiting on yours. Share knowledge. Offer help. Give honest praise. When we lift others up, we rise with them. A world without crab mentality isn’t one where everyone wins all the time, but one where no one has to lose just so someone else can feel better.

Crab mentality feeds on fear, but growth thrives on hope. We get to choose which one we water. Every time we encourage someone to keep going, every time we clap when they rise, we chip away at a mindset that has held too many people back for too long. There is room for all of us to grow, to dream, to succeed — not in spite of each other, but together.