“Having it all” is a phrase we hear often, a catchy idea that seems to promise the best of everything—success, love, freedom, security, and joy. But what does it really mean?
For me, and perhaps for many of us, it’s not about luxury yachts or designer closets. It’s about balance. It’s about waking up and not feeling torn between obligations and desires. It’s about having enough—time, love, peace, and yes, money—to live with intention and not just routine.
I look at my life and, on the surface, it checks many boxes. I have a house, which provides shelter and a sense of security. I have a car to get around. I have a job that pays the bills. I have a husband who shares the load, and a daughter who fills my heart. I have my parents and siblings back home who love me and miss me. It’s a lot. And in many ways, it is everything I once prayed for. So why do I still wonder if I truly “have it all”?
Because deep down, “having it all” feels incomplete if I’m always rushing, always counting days, always making trade-offs between time with my daughter and the deadlines at work. My heart wants more time, more stillness, more memories with the people I love most. I want to be there when my daughter grows up, not just present in the evenings, not just on weekends or during kita/school holidays, but really there. I want to be her anchor, not just her caretaker. And I know my husband dreams of that time too—time for us to rediscover each other outside the stress of daily life. Time to travel. Time to simply breathe together without a calendar telling us when it starts and when it ends.
This is why the dream of early retirement has nestled itself into my heart. The idea of leaving work behind at 40 would have been ideal. Forty feels like a sweet spot—you’re still full of energy, still young enough to chase adventures, but mature enough to savor them. But that dream? It stayed a dream. Life has a way of slowing your savings while speeding up your expenses. There were responsibilities that didn’t wait. And so, 45 started to feel like a new version of the dream. Still early. Still hopeful. But the numbers on the spreadsheets didn’t agree. I ran the calculations and they whispered, “Not yet.”
Now, even 50 feels ambitious. But anything before 60 feels like a win. The earlier, the better—not because I hate my job, but because I love my family more. I want to travel with them, not after retirement when knees start to ache and doctors’ appointments fill the calendar, but while we can still hike up hills, run through airports, and laugh over new discoveries. I want my daughter to remember her childhood not just through school and routines, but through days spent chasing butterflies in new countries, picnics in strange parks, and nights watching stars we don’t see from home.
So, is “having it all” even possible? I think it depends on how we define “all.” If we believe it means having everything at once—success at work, endless time with family, wealth, health, and freedom—then no, probably not. Life always demands a little give and take. But if “all” means having what truly matters to you, then yes, I believe it’s attainable. But it comes with choices. And sometimes sacrifices.
For me, that means simplifying in some areas so I can save more aggressively. It might mean skipping some luxuries today so that one day, I can trade spreadsheets for sunsets with my daughter. Maybe it means side hustles, smart investing, or just saying no to the pressure of “more.” Because every euro saved is really time bought in the future. And every effort I make now brings me a step closer to the freedom I crave.
I’m also learning that “having it all” doesn’t have to happen all at once. Maybe we can have different “alls” in different seasons. In this season, I have stability. I have love. I have a little chaos and a lot of joy. In the next season, I hope I’ll have time, freedom, and memories in the making. It’s okay if “all” changes shape over time.
And let’s not forget the quiet privilege of wanting more time because you already have what matters. Many people chase “having it all” because they’re missing something foundational—love, security, purpose. I have those. So maybe, just maybe, I already have it all. Not in the glamorous, magazine-cover way. But in the quiet, deeply fulfilling way that fills your heart, even as your to-do list fills your day.
Of course, I still want to retire early. I still want to be the mom who’s always there. I still want to book flights without thinking about leave balances. But if that doesn’t happen exactly when I want it to, I’ll keep reminding myself: I’m working toward a dream, not running from a life. And there’s beauty in that too.
“Having it all” isn’t a destination. It’s a moving target that shifts with your values. It’s more about how you feel when you wake up than what you own. And in that sense, if you’re loved, if you’re trying, and if you haven’t given up on what matters to you most—then yes, you just might have it all. Or at the very least, you’re on your way. And that, I believe, is enough.
