Little Belle's Mama

Some thoughts are helpful. They guide us, protect us, remind us to take care of what matters. But not all thoughts are useful. Some go in circles, repeating the same worries, playing out the worst scenarios, searching for answers that don’t exist. That’s overthinking. It doesn’t feel like thinking. It feels like drowning in your own mind.

Overthinking often starts small—a single thought, a tiny worry, a simple “what if.” Then it grows. It turns into a loop, a pattern, a trap. You replay a conversation, wondering if you said the wrong thing. You plan for every outcome, trying to control the future. You try to make the perfect decision but end up stuck in indecision. Your mind becomes busy, but your heart grows tired. And even though you know it’s too much, it’s hard to stop. That’s the frustrating part. Overthinking feels like you’re doing something, like you’re solving a problem. But most of the time, it only creates more problems.

People who overthink are often smart, sensitive, and caring. They want to do the right thing. They’re thoughtful and responsible. But their minds don’t rest easily. They analyze, evaluate, second-guess. They’re often harder on themselves than anyone else would be. The thinking becomes a way to protect themselves—from failure, rejection, embarrassment, regret. But instead of creating safety, it creates tension. Instead of finding peace, they stay trapped in mental noise.

One of the most exhausting parts of overthinking is how invisible it is. From the outside, you might look calm. But inside, your thoughts are spinning. You lie in bed, wide awake, going over the same issue again and again. You try to focus, but your mind keeps drifting back to something that happened days ago. You want to let go, but the thought keeps pulling you in. It’s like being stuck in a storm no one else can see.

It helps to understand why we overthink. Often, it’s tied to fear. Fear of making mistakes. Fear of being judged. Fear of something bad happening. Overthinking becomes a strategy—a way to stay one step ahead, to avoid pain. But pain is a part of life, and no amount of thinking can prevent all of it. That’s the hard truth. Sometimes, we try to think our way out of feelings. But emotions aren’t problems to solve. They’re experiences to move through.

To ease overthinking, the first step is noticing it. Not with shame or judgment, but with awareness. “I’m overthinking right now.” That simple sentence can interrupt the spiral. It creates space between you and the thought. Instead of being inside the storm, you step back and observe it. That space is where change begins.

Once you’ve noticed the pattern, try asking yourself: is this thought helpful? Is it kind? Is it true? If the answer is no, you don’t have to follow it. Not all thoughts deserve your energy. Not every mental story is worth finishing. The brain generates thoughts all day long, but you get to decide which ones to feed.

Another helpful tool is grounding—bringing your attention back to the present moment. Overthinking pulls you into the past and the future, neither of which you can control. The present, however, is real. You can return to it through your senses. Feel the texture of something near you. Notice five things you can see. Take three deep breaths, slowly. These are small things, but they anchor you. They remind you: I’m here, I’m safe, I don’t have to solve everything right now.

Sometimes writing helps. When thoughts feel overwhelming, putting them on paper can bring relief. It gets them out of your head, where they swirl endlessly, and into a space where you can see them more clearly. Journaling doesn’t need to be poetic or polished. Just honest. Write down the worry. Question it. Challenge it. Or simply allow it to be seen, without needing to fix it.

One of the most powerful antidotes to overthinking is action. Often, we think too much because we don’t know what to do. But waiting for the “perfect” solution can keep us stuck. Sometimes, any small step is better than none. Make the call. Send the message. Choose the option that feels okay, even if it’s not certain. Action quiets the mind because it signals that you’re moving forward. Even if you’re unsure, momentum builds confidence. You don’t need every answer before you begin. You just need to begin.

Compassion also plays a big role in softening overthinking. Many overthinkers are incredibly hard on themselves. They replay mistakes. They imagine worst-case outcomes. They expect perfection. But what if you offered yourself the kindness you’d give a friend? What if you said, “I’m doing my best,” or “It’s okay not to have it all figured out”? That inner kindness can slow the spin. It tells your nervous system, “You’re safe. You don’t need to fight right now.”

It’s also worth saying this: overthinking isn’t always something you can just snap out of. Sometimes it’s connected to anxiety, trauma, or past experiences where being alert kept you safe. If that’s true for you, be gentle. You’re not broken. Your brain learned to protect you in ways that made sense back then. Therapy can help untangle that history, offering new tools and ways to feel safe without constant mental effort.

You don’t have to be ruled by your thoughts. You are not your worries. You are not your fears. You are the awareness beneath them—the calm observer, the one who sees, questions, and chooses. That part of you is always there, even when the mind feels loud.

Over time, with practice, the mind can soften. The thoughts won’t vanish, but they won’t grip as tightly. You’ll notice them sooner. You’ll return to the present more easily. You’ll stop chasing every “what if” and start trusting your ability to handle life as it comes. That’s freedom—not from thinking, but from being trapped by it.

So when the spiral begins, pause. Breathe. Come back to now. Remind yourself: it’s okay not to know everything. It’s okay to rest. Not every thought is urgent. Not every fear is real. You can choose peace over perfection, presence over prediction.

Your mind is powerful, but you are even more so.