Last night was a moment I knew would come, but I wasn’t fully prepared for. It was my first night away from my daughter for work—a business trip that required me to leave the one little person I hold most dear in this world. I’ve always enjoyed traveling, but this time, the excitement was overshadowed by an ache in my heart.
Throughout the day, I kept glancing at my phone, almost compulsively, just to look at her photo. It’s funny how something so simple can make you feel close to someone even when they’re miles away. Every time I saw her little face, I felt warmth in my chest, but also an overwhelming longing.
The evening was filled with work commitments—dinner with colleagues and a client that stretched late into the night. By the time I returned to my hotel room, it was already 10 PM. I knew she had been waiting for me, staying up just so we could have our call and say good night. That thought alone tugged at my heart.
When I called to see her and hear her voice, and she showed up on my screen, her giggle was the sweetest sound but also a painful reminder of what I was missing. She kept moving closer to the camera, trying to kiss or touch me through the screen, as if that could bridge the distance between us. She couldn’t stop saying ‘Mommy.’ I wanted to reach out and hold her so badly. We spoke for a little while, and as I listened to her little voice, I felt a wave of emotion build up inside me. I wanted to cry.
I kept thinking about how much I just wanted to hug her—hold her tightly, feel her little arms around me, and smell her hair. This trip is the first of many, and as much as I understand the necessity of working and growing in my career, my heart feels heavy knowing she’s left behind.
It’s strange how something I once loved—travel, work, meeting new people—now feels so incomplete without her. I’m sure in time, I’ll find ways to manage this feeling, but last night was a hard lesson. It made me realize that no matter how much I love my career, there’s nothing quite like the warmth of being home with her.
For now, I’ll keep checking her photos, replaying her giggles in my mind, and counting down the hours until I can hold her again. This trip may be the first of many, but every time I leave, I hope she knows that no matter where I go, my heart is always with her.
