I never thought I would have to say goodbye to peanuts. Growing up, they weren’t just a snack—they were a part of my everyday life. I didn’t care for the fried, cooked, dried, or flavored versions. My favorite was always the fresh ones, straight from the soil, still soft and earthy. I could eat them nonstop, as long as my jaw could keep up. If there had been an unlimited supply, I would have happily munched on them all day. Peanuts weren’t just food; they were comfort, nostalgia, and simple joy.
During pregnancy, my love for peanuts only grew stronger. When I spent five weeks in the Philippines on vacation, a relative brought me freshly picked peanuts, and I was the only one who finished them. It felt like heaven. Luckily, the public market in Dumaguete had sacks of freshly pulled peanuts, so I never ran out. I ate them like they were a full meal, satisfying my cravings in the simplest way possible. Little did I know, those would be some of the last times I’d get to enjoy them without worry.
After giving birth, everything changed. Peanuts—my once-beloved snack—became my enemy. I developed an allergy, and even a small amount could trigger a reaction. It was frustrating, confusing, and honestly, a little heartbreaking. How could something my body once welcomed so eagerly now reject it completely? The worst part was knowing that this wasn’t just a temporary intolerance—it was something I had to live with. The food I once adored now posed a threat to me.
Back in Germany, I struggled with this reality. There weren’t many places that sold fresh peanuts, but the Indian shop in Bielefeld was one of the few that did. Every time I visited, I would stop and stare at the peanuts, longing for just one bite. But my husband would gently remind me, “Look somewhere else. You can’t eat that anymore.” It’s a small moment, but each time it happens, I feel a little pang of loss.
It’s strange how pregnancy and motherhood can completely change your body—not just how it looks, but how it functions, how it reacts, even what it craves. Peanuts will always be special to me, but for now, they remain just a memory of a love my body could no longer hold onto.
